Think about it fellas, you know it is true. Walk into a library or research area or any typically intelligent area, and check out the female workers (like you don’t already). Make an observation. Now go to a spot that is less MENSA intensive, like a retail purse store or a food court-style restaurant. Make a similar observation. I have completed extensive research on this (spending almost an entire lunch hour) and have discovered that, in fact, IQ levels are inversely proportional to bra size, in about 75% of observed cases. Not every one, I must note, but still a high enough majority to make a difference.

Personally, I have always thought that this developed through the stereotyping of females during their school years. The big boobers flirt with their teachers, and both male and some female ones get a little turned on, and go a little easier on them in class. Suddenly that D becomes a B, and despite a lack of intelligence, they glide through school. Meanwhile, our smaller chested friends must fight and scratch their way through, since the genetically-lower intelligence level of a typical female versus a typical male puts them at an immediate disadvantage. Therefore, they must study harder to achieve the grade levels required, and since they can’t get any dates, they spend their Friday and Saturday nights studying too.

Okay, I gotta be fair. We all know smart chicks with nice hooters they are definitely out there. I have a lot of well-rounded lady friends who also happen to be damn smart. But we also all know a hell of a lot of dumbass chicks with massive hogans. And last nite, I think I figured out the real reason why the smart ones are more likely to just have a handful to work with.

Yep, you got it. Genetics.

I was on the Internet, doing my usual surfin’ and chattin’, when I ran into a gal I used to talk with a while back. We’ll call her Sharon, though her real name is Francine Holland of Atlanta, Georgia (just kidding, of course). After a bit, our conversation went in the direction that all Internet chats between a guy and a gal will go: Toilet Seats. You know the old story, guy leaves it up, gal wants it down. If she was going to argue the point from the basis of it looks much cleaner, I would have probably agreed that she had a good point, but would say I still leave it up here in my own apartment. But Sharon took it in a whole new direction, of course:

Quote: But you have never gotten up to pee in the middle of the night and fallen in, cuz some dumbass went and left the toilet seat up! : End Quote.

(If she thought she was going to win a debate with me, that comment was definitely the wrong move.)

I could not believe she said that, I sat in momentary silence as I tried to collect my thoughts. You know, it is funny I have never EVER heard of a guy getting a wet arse due to not putting the seat down. Are you actually saying that you would sit down for a piss and not check the relative seat location and you would call the person who left the seat up the dumbass ?!?

She replied, Yes!

C’mon, I said, that is like saying a woman can’t tell if a door is open or not before walking through:
Man: Hmmm, there is door. Door is closed. Must open before I walk through.
Woman: Hmmm, there is door. THUMP. Ouch. THUMP. Ouch. Oh, I should open it before I go through.

Her reply: Okay then, what about me?

Now mind you, let me tell you something about Sharon. I have seen a few pictures of this gal. Very attractive, nice person, mid sized melons. But of course, women never feel they are large enough, so considers herself to have no chest I guess you must be more like a man then, smart enough to open the door at least half the time!

It was at this point that the conversation digressed a little from our topic today, but I think you get the picture. The truth finally came out. Stupidity in women are not a direct cause of large breasts, the converse is actually true. Genetics has developed a system of protection for those less-than-genius ladies to prevent broken bones and bruises.

Gotta love effective bumpers, eh?