Guest Editorials - - - Paul Firlotte Dot Com

E D I T O R I A L S

E D I T O R I A L S

Guest Editorials

Dan Brennan -

Cynthia

Cynthia's turn to bitch

Well, despite the presence of Guest Editorials by Morons on this page, I thought I'd do one up too!

Unlike some of the self-proclaimed geniuses I don't feel the need to provide you with my two cents worth on such pressing issues as religion or Sunday shopping. I'm assuming you are mostly big boys and girls who are old enough to form your own opinion on these things. Although, when you read the e-mails that Amy has to send out, you've got to wonder.

I would like to say to say sayanora or some shit, to the "Weird One" (the caper with the Keith's in the pic) and wish him the best of luck teaching those Korean people how to say "Caid Mille Failte"! (Don't even ask!) And my big concern -- and you should be alarmed as well -- is who is going to keep that Columbian in line?? Because someone really, REALLY needs to.

Also, I'd like to state for the record that I don't believe that Jim Urquhart, PaulFirlotte.com's health correspondent, has ever seen my tits, unless you count that one time with were both drunk in Afghanistan and he told me that if I let him play with my titties, that it would help liberate the women of Afghanistan. See, I don't count that time either.

So anyway, Paul and I have a gecko named Poop. Okay, well its really Paul's gecko and depending on who you ask, its name might actually be stupid gecko or Mr.Foot-Head. However the point here is, stupid gecko like FREAKED OUT the other night and went on an eating binge. The fucker ate 7 crickets!!! Do you have any idea how gross 3 dozen crickets in a plastic bag are??? And Poop just inhaled them. Anyway, was you can see, Poop is aptly named.

Other than that, I guess I would just like to take this moment, to tell muh man, that I am sorry I am not good enough to him and I really should spend more of my money on him. It's really unfair, because he's been carrying our bizarre-assed family type unit forever and it is about time that I start doing my share. I'm sorry baby. I'll go buy you some more lego.

Guess that's about it for now! I'm sure I'll be back at some point.

Please submit your editorial

If you have anything to bitch about and want it added to these pages, please Email Me, and if your idea doesn't suck, I'll post it here.

Thanks to: Andrew, Beth, Jason, Joel