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Hell bent, hell bent for leather! |
| posted 10.17.05 | |
So yeah, the Patman and Amycakes swung by the capital region a week or so ago. Between Pat and I, it was a toss up for who was the worst chef. According to Amy I can't cook a salmon dinner worth shit and Pat managed to serve up a batch of ribs that were at once blacker than hell while still raw inside. We made up for our culinary lack or talent by getting blind drunk and chasing cats around the neighborhood with R/C trucks until sometime after 5:00 a.m. Yeah, we were big hits with the neighbors. Wow... Dusty seemed pretty freaked out by having more than his two regular humans in the house, but he adapted once we fed him. What a little fuzzy trouper he is. We did manage to flatten seven or eight dozen beer, much scoth and many bottles of wine. I think that pretty much explains everything else about the weekend. P.S. Thanks for the Alpine glass Pat. Thanks a lot... Yeah, it was quite the weekend all right. I can't wait til Dave makes the trip up, won't a night in a new police station in a new city be a nice change of pace? And in other legal news, the Metal Gods themselves, Judas Priest was/were in town this past weekend. Also on the stage was Anthrax! Needless to say it was a helluva show, all the mullets in attendance seemed to be having quite a fine time indeed. I got a kick out of the wide age range represented by the crowd, from little kids to fifty year old camaro driving yahoos. Good times indeed. So I'm standing there in line to score tickets and I swear Jeff Waters of Annihilator fame was standing right behind me. How cool is that? Cynthia refused to allow me to hump his leg like a rabid german shepherd though... always the buzzkill... sigh... Man, these once every six months type updates really suck because I'm leaving out a lot of really good and really inane goings on due to the contraints posed upon me by space/time/laziness. I got some new toys, rode some new trails, made some new friends, and even started another job. Now that I'm making more bling than Cynthia she better smarten her ass up or I'll kick it to the curb like a bag of garbage... thats what I know. Its finally time to put the serious move on to score me a house. I'm hoping to land a decent enough shack that suits all my needs for under $450,000. I need a big dedicated home theatre, a computer room, an office, a killer kitchen, and place enough to set up an electronics workshop. In a nerd heavy town like this, you'd think it'd be easier to do this up. Stupid liberals... I started my own company eh? Just so I could finally be the President of something. Maybe I should try to be the president of the internet, then I'd be cool like Durdle... well, except that I have better taste in everything than he does, and I'm straight. Otherwise, I could be cool like him... Anyhoo, yeah, my own company, I get to write off all my toys now and there are some other financial benefits too... or so my accountant tells me. I'm all incorporated with fancy paperwork, a bank account, and now I can hire people to kill other people and blow stuff up! Muahahaha... etc. Okay, so yeah, I can't do any of that shit, but still... its fun to pretend. Now I just gotta get a dedicated line to the house and get a website built up, then I'm styling, interweb style yo. Anyone wanna make me a somewhat professional looking website in exchange for cash money, feel free to let me know. |
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Please to be eating shitake now, thank you. |
| posted 08.30.05 | |
Whoosh, but ain't it been a goddamned long time since last you read any new ramblings here? Not that there's really anything new to carry on about, haven't really been scoring the toys lately, just too much other crap on the go I guess. Woe is me, and all that noise. At some point, I'll have this shitty little waste of bandwidth back up running properly, with more bitching, whining, and death threats. I promise. Also, I'll go on some insane shopping spree and pretend to review the gadgets and toys that cynthia will have to find some way of storing. She's rather lucky that way. All things considered. And in other news, I'm working on some alternative LED lighting solutions for the new house. If it was up to me, I'd run 12VDC through the whole damned house in parallel with the AC mains. Nothing would be cooler than a bunch of 12 Volt taps around the house to run various toys, projects, and experiments wherever I want. I'm sure Cynthia might have something to say about that however, and if not then the insurance company and inspectors sure as shit will. Those bastards, always keeping me from realizing my dreams. One of my goals for the new house is to integrate solar power to help keep Ontario Hydro from raping my wallet's ass on a monthly basis. I suspect it has more to do with my need to solder things than any financial concerns, but what the hell. I can pretend I'm doing my part to save the planet too. Go me! I'll keep you posted and maybe even post a work log type page here. I'd like to take a moment to update you all on the life and times of Dusty Dan, the wonder pug. Dan Cadera will appreciate this news more than anyone. Currently, Dusty is asleep on the couch next to me as I type this. By the time you read this, he'll be asleep somewhere else. Its what he does. He still has that snaggle tooth action going on, he still turns right exclusively, and he sleeps most of the time. With Dusty, that is as close to news as I can get. I'm sorely tempted to pick up a Boston Terrier to give him something to do with his time. Nothing like a Boston pup to wake his furry ass up. Plus any excuse to pick up another dog is just fine with me. Here's a vital piece of information for anyone looking to buy a notebook, DO NOT go with HP. I'd recommend Toshiba, but most of you already knew that. Here's more information for you, don't call them laptops... geezus I hate when you ignorant little retards call them that. Wow... Laptops haven't been made in years, today we have notebooks or you can even call them portables. I think there should be a law stating calling them laptops gets you a punch in the mouth. Then again, there should be many more laws enacted that qualify idiots for punches in the mouth. Wouldn't that be fun? And now, I go... I'll post an update soon, and it won't suck nearly as bad as this one did. I promise. |
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Liberals steal money from you and me... |
| posted 04.11.05 | |
Well howdy there kiddies! Its been quite some time, and some of you little weirdos just refuse to leave me alone so here we go with another entry in the wonderful world of Paulfirlotte.com. Speaking of dot com, I really have to get around to registering a dot org, just because I love the sound of it... say it with me kiddies, "dot org". There, doesn't that sound snazzy? Maybe I'll grab Firlotte.org and pretend I'm a not-for-profit organization maybe. The way I spend money on toys, there's NO WAY I'm turning a profit here. Oh, that reminds me, Cynthia you need to get a huge raise or pick up a second jorb. Like now. As for new toys and stuff, the new Star Wars Lego is out in full force and I couldn't be happier. And reasons for my happiness are many, so lets list them shall we? 1) Star Wars Lego!!! 2) yeah, Star Wars Lego again... 3) this is the last installment of the Star Wars trilogy (we're up to six now, but I'll still only acknowledge the first three) 4) with this final movie, Dan Cadera is enjoying his last chance to load up on Star Wars crap, which makes me smile. 5) Lucas can't kill the joy I once was filled with regarding the movies. 6) Star Wars Lego!!! So yeah, as the title of today's crapfest might indicate, I'm somewhat less than thrilled with the Liberals. Then again, I've never really liked them, or their cavalier attitude towards throwing my money at only the stupid causes... not to mention their innate love of lining their own pockets with other people's money. Pigs at the trough and all that. Being back in Ottawa really refreshed my dormant yet long-standing hatred of these bastards though so they're asses are back in season here. I might have to start up a whole new site just to keep track of their criminal activities, no doubt it'll be a dot org! At least I can rest easy knowing that these thieves will be getting huges fines and long jail terms, right? Hahahaha... I kill me with the humor. And finally, my latest and greatest and most favoritest toy is probably my iPod shuffle, mostly cause its yet another USB device to consume another of my fast dwindling USB ports. Damn I do love the USB, and firewire is for suckers. Another good reason to score one is to emulate Denis Tabernac, as I do believe he was the first person I knew to get an iPod back in the day. This shuffle is so tiny and white and chock fulla iPoddy goodness. I'm really digging the Autofill feature, I'm getting tunes on here that I haven't heard in forever, and a GB of classic death metal makes for a fun trip on the bus. No one will sit with me, cause apparently I worship the devil. Works for me! And even more finally, while on the subject of latest, greatest, and mostest favoritest... I'd like to take this opportunity to make mention of the fact that Kelly Burnup is probably my second mostest favoritest American on the planet! And not just because she cuts my expense checks either (although that does figure into the equation quite heavily). Go Kelly! And just who might be my favorite American of all time? That honor (?) goes to one James "The Korean Sledgehammer" Park! Man I miss working with that guy almost as much as he misses working with "The Pigeon"! |
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News and crap |
| posted 02.04.05 | |
Well, I got the domain transferred to a new registrar, got a new host lined up, and I'll soon be doing something constructive with this mess. Isn't that special? Mark your calendars... with some date, I dunno... make one up and that'll be my official launch date. Official... yeah, thats how I operate all right. Shit, I got sooo many goddamned crazy and stupid toys since the last time I put any effort into keeping this thing updated, I might have to create a whole new section just for toys! There must be two dozen USB things alone, plus the robots, audio gear, lego, electronics, new computers, etc. etc. At least I won't have to be creative or funny for quite some time, I'll just post pics and babble on about all the shit thats cluttering up my living space. Won't that be fun? Some of you little weirdos seem to be getting all riled up though, due to the lack of activity here. I dunno what to tell you... other than suck it up and shut it up. Here's a little application that might help you get over it. It has worked wonders for me, lemme tell ya.  |
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OHMIGAWD!!! An Update, AND GTA: San Andreas!!! |
| posted 11.15.04 | |
Holy snatch batter, batman! I'm actually providing you people with more funny little letters to run your eyes over! Its been so long that I doubt there are very many people left who actually check this place out, but what the hell. "Holy snatch batter"? I dunno, it just sort of happened, ya know? Maybe its for the best that I haven't been doing anything with this spambot-attracting menace to web-based society after all. At least those of you who keep track of this sort of thing can take comfort in the fact that some things do not change after all. Yay! etc. Well, that last bit made no sense... good for me! Anyhoo, not a whole lot is new on this end really. Lots of booze passed these lips, tons of grilled beef, chicken, and salmon passed through my digestive system, and I pretty much took it easy all summer long. Its been rough, I'll tell ya... I did pick up a kickass Aquarius III liquid cooling system to play with, I love that little blue slut! If you have the means and the opportunity, I highly recommend you pick one up. There are more robust solutions available, but few are as sexy or as much fun. Before you get all bitter and start to really hate me because I had such an easy summer, I figure I should mention that I've finally started to seriously look for work. Had a bunch of interviews, got a couple more coming up, its always nice to know I'm at the top of several lists... Now if only these people would move a little faster, I'm not a patient person. The only real upside to this whole getting a Jorb thing is that the paychecks will allow me to score way more toys without having to be lectured by the sponsor about fiscal responsibility. The lectures don't really have the desired effect, cause I end up with the toys anyway. Still... its kind of a shame to see this six month summer draw to a close... sigh... So yeah, the big news in my life recently was the release of Grand Theft Auto : San Andreas ! I'm sure some other noteworthy shit has gone down, but honestly, what else could possibly matter? The game totally kicks ass, thats what I know! The map is huge, reputedly five times bigger than Vice City, and so far I've driven like a retard through a good chunk of it. I'm getting a real kick out of the Sim aspect of it, having to eat, work out, learn the weapons, vehicles, etc. Its getting me a lot more involved with the game than I thought it would, or maybe its the fact I get to have an Afro... I dunno. The new vehicle physics, the ability to swim, and the bicycles all help to make this game the bomb! Just on the outside chance you haven't played the game or read up on it (if you fall into this category, I can't imagine what on earth you're doing reading this...), here's a review of the game, all fanboy and gushing with praise, as is befitting this game. Anyhoo, in keeping with tradition, I posted a page of Cheats and Tips just because I could. I realise some of you "expert genius mega-gamer" types, not to mention just pretentious fucks who like to bitch and moan, might look down on cheats. I might look down on that type of person as well, after I clean their clocks with my trusty Crowbar. I'm looking down on them, cause they're flat on the ground, out cold... get it? Anyhoo, I hope Dave is taking good care of that crowbar, its seen me through a lot of tough times back in the day... Anyhoo, I'ma sign off now, stay tuned for my next update, some six months from now, maybe... |
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Oh yeah, the fat man lives! |
| posted 06.02.04 | |
So yeah, I'm in Ottawa and really enjoying being alive! Good for me! hahahaha... Getting lots of biking, hiking, drinking and grilling done, I doubt I've been this happy in just about forever... This is just a temporary update, so don't expect any detailed rundown of the last couple of months or anything. I'm just hoping this meagre effort shuts some of you the hell up... wow... bitch bitch bitch... So yeah suffice to say, I'm doing much better than YOU are, sucker. Anyway, the Olsen Twins are rapidly coming of age, and I bet Pat is just frothing at the crotch! If they were boys, I'm sure KMX would be frothing instead... go figure. I'm going to be moving this entire site to a new host shortly, so youse guys can get your abuse and the odd interesting link type action again some day. Buck up little campers, the little site that could will be back in full force with some new shit to keep you entertained... okay, no one really visits this site anyway and its all just designed to keep me entertained, but what the fuck, I can type what I want. So there. Yeah. That'll learn ya. Etc. FYI, for those who know him and love him, you'll be thrilled to know that Dusty is doing just fine. He's adapting to life up here in the big city, and he's also adapting to canoeing quite well indeed. Click Here to check him out in his pimpin' new PFD! I'm heading back to Moncton this weekend to finally after two decades catch Slayer live! Oh yeah!!! I'll see some of you there, and others... well just hope I don't see you there... hahahah Slayer! yeah!!! Wheeee... And now I go, stay tuned, this sucker will be put back together soon enough. |
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... |
| posted 03.22.04 | |
So I had to work late a few times last week, til like midnight and shit... then I'm in here all weekend... so this really doesn't feel like Monday at all... More like a Wednesday from one of those weeks that drags on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever shit, sorry. Anyway yeah, last night I'm watching Navy Seals and I just can't get that whole "Its Sunday night and your weekend is dying" kind of feeling going. Too bad, I kinda miss that feeling when its gone. Now all I got is the "When the flying fuck will this week ever end" feeling instead. Not a good thing when you realize its still Monday... sigh... It just dawned on me, I've been too busy to buy any decent toys lately... WTF is up with that? If the sponsor doesn't soon do something to rectify that, there's gonna be a problem here.Thats what I know. I need a new DVD player for sure, so perhaps we should rectify that after work. I hear there's a sweet deal on a high end Denon (there's such a thing as high end Denon?) just for little old me! Yay! Shit yeah, speaking of toys, I gotta all three mountain bikes in for a visit to the wonderful people at Bungay's. They're in need of so much work... the Kona needs a complete new drivetrain and lots of work on the Magura brakes, and the Bomber could use a little love... The FSR needs drivetrain tweaking, work on the sexy Hayes brakes, and some suspension attention... the K2 just needs a general tune up and it should be good to go... I hope... And here's another chunk of really bad news... Kylie's not showing off her hot ass anymore... Click Here to read the bad news... I know a ton of chicks who wear thongs who shouldn't, they should be stopped... Kylie should be encouraged to not abandon her current wardrobe... Maybe if we started a petition? Which reminds me, I want a Slide Rule. |
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Sigh... |
| posted 03.19.04 | |
So yeah, its Friday... whoopie... next thing you know it'll be Monday and you'll be wondering where the weekend went and why the next one is nowhere in sight... sigh... |
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Mid-March Madness |
| posted 03.17.04 | |
Ah yes, Mid-March Madness, not to be confused with the dreaded "space madness" which claimed Ren on more than one occasion. Either way, this sucks. I gotta listen to the rice boys whine about the snow, I gotta listen to the lazy people bitch about the snow, and I gotta listen to much less than attractive women howl about how they want to go to the beach. I wonder what it is about these people that leads them to feel the need to inflict themselves upon others... especially the last group. I finally scored a mini-fridge, and man, its super cool... cool... get it? fridge, cool? hahahahaha oh yeah, its THAT kind of day. Anyway, its freakin cool, and you can check it out at Minicooler.com. I got the Classic. Anything else you wanna know, its gonna cost you... Well, I'll tell you this much, I stuffed it with six cans of juice, three sandwiches, three apples, carrots, onion dip, cheese and a big bottle of hot sauce. Its THAT cool... cool... hahaha get it? Fridge, cool? Wheeee... I had a few things I was going to bitch about, but figured to hell with it and to hell with you. I'm going to spend my time over at Realarcade.com and play some pinball instead. Georgeous turned me on to the site, decent games, and a pretty cool model... you download the game and get 1 hour of play time before you either register it or delete it. This should keep me entertained for a while... |
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I got nothin' |
| posted 03.12.04 | |
I bought a USB Fan yesterday, now when I haul the notebook with me to the crapper, I can vent the stink away from my delicate olfactory equipment. Nothing quite like sharing the fact that you're taking a dump with everyone on your buddy list... Now that MP3.com is tits up in the ditch dead (or "restructuring" as they like to call it) all their gear is Up For Auction baby, yeah! If I was "restructuring, I wouldn't have a liquidator auction off all my gear dirt cheap, I'd keep some of it to run the business with... buncha liars... Then again, I'm just bitter because I want a lot of those servers, audio gear, gym equipment, hummer and the motorcycle... sigh... they sure did know how to throw money away though, good business plan there guys. Click Here, I work with that guy. A lot of people have been emailing and icq'ing me This Article about recovering sometimes obscene amounts of space on hard drives. I'll be testing their scam out next week on a drive I don't care much about, just to see what happens. Stay tuned for some results. And finally, here's a picture of a cool house at a cheap price, it looks like a chinese restaurant/60's porn producer mansion... Click Here to check out the pad Dosy sent me... $169,000 for a monster shack with an indoor pool seems a little fishy, and I refuse to live in Queerbec, no matter how cute I think Marco is... |
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Back to the grind |
| posted 03.08.04 | |
So yeah, I had last week off... maybe I should have mentioned something, considering all the emails I received from people bitching about not updating my site. You guys start paying a subscription fee, and I'll bitch on a much more consistent level... heh... bitching for bucks dot com... I did some snowmobiling and some drinking and some sleeping. Pretty low stress times were had by all. I'll eventually bring in some pictures I took of snowmobiles, the view from Blue Mountain, and booze. Until then... It turns out that almost everyone in the hicksburg end of Nova Scotia has a Volvo. That was pretty odd. Cynthia got pretty pissed about the whole deal... maybe when we buy that new S60 or S80 she'll stop bitching. I doubt it though... but its fun to pretend. Speaking of new Volvo action, there's a new prototype out that was done up solely by women. Aside from the blazing gay factor, there are some cool touches, like a groove in the headrest for ponytails (wtf?) and lots of extra storage for cell phones and shopping bags (wtf?). I'd prefer to view the extra storage as being for weapons, not shoes. There is also some gayness where you can remove fabrics and swap them and redecorate the car. Um... maybe you could put in slayer prints and studded leather accents, I dunno. They should design an all-metalhead minivan next. I got a shitload of new Simpsons gear last week. While I was holed up in the great white north with my folks, Cynthia picked me up some really cool stuff, I'll even post pictures of it some day... maybe... Here's a Link to the Tin Bowling Game! Oh yeah, over a week ago I promised to do a review of the "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" or "the Passion of Christ" as it is more formally known. I got nothing... didn't see it, didn't think about it, just didn't care. Still don't. Don't plan to at any point in the future either. Oh well... I do like poking fun at everyone who's doing all the bitching though. I'll probably get around to that at some point this week. Until then, I'd like to suggest that when it releases on DVD, they should provide alternate endings! One where a Terminator comes back from the future to save him, or maybe give him a bowie knife and a big crazy M-60, a headband, and a sneer... or ninjas, you can never go wrong with ninjas! Yeah! Anyway, I'm outta here... |
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El Chupacabra |
| posted 02.26.04 | |
So yeah, one more day and the week is over and I'm on vacation baby! yeah! No more having to deal with Simple or Ryan or Crybaby McKay. I'm so happy I could just shit. One whole week of just doing nothing and relaxing, despite Cynthia's best efforts to ruin it for me. Man that chick absolutely refuses to let me lead a peaceul existence... its like she has some allergy to my being happy... wow... Where's my new DVD player? I'm so in the mood for a new Red Versus Blue or Strong Bad cartoon. Why don't these guys put out more funny shit? Man, I'm so in need of some entertainment I could just die. Luckily tomorrow I'm bringing in my Xbox, the high def kit, and my LCD display so I can play GTA Vice City. Won't that make for a productive day? Which reminds me, I gotta score some new lego soon... Check out some of the nutjobs at FBTB.net who seem to have way more time and money than I do... sigh... Oh yeah, Cynthia's one chance to make up for all the crap she puts me through might be Bricklink.com. Its like Ebay just for Lego!!! Yeah!!! Then there's this guy who set up the Building Empires website, another one who really needs help. Now I gotta kick my Star Wars Lego action into high gear just to keep up... stupid interweb... Tomorrow, if I have time and if I remember, I'm gonna freak out about Gibson's new movie, the "Jesus Chainsaw Massacre" or "the Passion of Christ" as it is more formally known. I got nothing but hate and contempt for every fucking group of fucks involved... |
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Wheee I'm on the web! | |||
| posted 16.01.01 | ||||
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If you have read down this far, you really need a hobby...
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